"My mama told me there'd be days like this" didn't even come close, I bet "Mama" never found a body first thing in the morning.
"I didn't meant to kill her. Honest. Well, okay, it was accidentally on purpose."
I couldn't tell if the loud bang I'd just heard was a car backfiring or a gun shot.
The darkness outside matched the darkness I felt inside; the dread of realizing that in a few short hours, I would come face to face with her again.
My scissors were buried in his throat up to their green fingerholes.
I couldn't remember if I was supposed to put the baby down on his back or stomach, so I put him on his side and hoped for the best.
The sound of a tree falling on my roof is right up there with the gurgle of someone drowning in his own blood as sounds I never want to hear again.
It was the biggest story since 9-11.
When the blood-caked shoe washed up on the beach, I couldn't help thinking that it was my Mother's size but definately not her style.
Materialism aside, I thought it a shame that the owner of the chicest mall in town was killed in his own food court, strangled by a lasagne noodle from the lousiest Italian restaurant I'd ever eaten in.
When the news came, Juliana was too busy lining up red M&Ms to use as ammo when shot from rubberbands to pay any attention.
Seaweed wrapped around one's ankle as one waded down the beach, sandals tightly in hand, was gross enough, but what washed up and had my ankle was positively disgusting!
The darkness of night could either be described as the largest Snuggie in the world or as the largest ski mask in the world, depending on which side of what happened next you were on.
After being in the house for just twenty short minutes, I found myself wondering "How could anybody live like this?"
Being rendered unconscious is never a good thing first thing in the morning.
When Susan glanced out of the window in her bedroom, eyes shone back at her out of the velvet blackness of the night.
To call my life crazy at the moment would have been the understatement of the century!
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times"? Who the Dickens starts a novel like that?
I couldn't help thinking how done with winter I was and then I stepped out of my front door and onto the driveway to get into my car. I hit an icy patch and slid completely under my car. I had never been under a car before and couldn't believe what I found under there.